Patience…

OMFG… I think there’s 7 million people currently in my house… I’m convinced :/

Or maybe it’s only 8 actual people… but it sounds like 7 million!

The house is too small. 

The kids are too loud. 

I can’t even explain the level of ‘overwhelmed’ I am currently experiencing. 

I just want them to… shut… up!

Shut

The

F

Up

It’s endless. The only silence I have is for maybe an hour or two at night. 

I wonder when I completely let go of the illusion of control. When I just stopped even bothering to pretend. 

Why bother, when you know it’s pointless? Why argue the rules and regulations. Enforce the boundaries. Endlessly argue. Why?!?

Because I need them to just stop. To freeze for 5 whole seconds. To just be silent. 

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Conversation outside my motel room early this morning, amidst the rattle of suitcase wheels:

Female (adult): I’m not waking anyone up! 

Make (adult): shh!

Female: but why do you keep saying I’m waking people up?! I’m not!!

Male: okay… Shh…

Female: I don’t need to shh! I’m not waking anyone up!!!

More rattling and banging and muttering… 

Is she really that daft?! Can she truly not see that walking outside motel rooms with suitcases and talking in a loud, shrill voice will wake people up?!? 

The sound of….

I just want it to stop raining for a day… or five!

I spent years living on a drought stricken farm, so it’s been beaten into me that you just don’t complain about the water falling from the sky… but… oh. my. god! I want a break… I feel like Noah. It just goes on… and on…. and not even a gentle patter. It’s a downpour. A never ending downpour. My drought born and raised kids are asking how the clouds can actually hold that much water. I’ve run out of answers…. The sound has become fingernails down a chalkboard. My shoulder blades have almost met with it all….

And the alarms around us keep being tripped. The rain? I hope so. I hope this is not ‘normal’ around here…. It’s not even a consistent alarm sound. It’s one of those irritating ones, designed to grab your attention. At least it’s morning this time – 3am two nights ago.

Needless to say, the kids are bickering… they go outside to play in the rain, but I’m over the washing – the laundry is downstairs… outside… through that torrent…. through the waterfalls created by the house and it’s overflowing gutters….

There is a mantra in my head: stop bleeping, stop thumping, stop screaming, stop tapping, stop talking, stop slamming, stop, stop, stop! I need silence. My sanity is almost completely shot.