Faith is a fine invention…

The last week seems to have been throwing quite a few curve balls… and I wonder what is the point, and is there a point at all…

I can’t remember ever not having some belief in… well… something. Not until the last couple of years at least. Not until my heart and faith was shredded one time too many. 

I’ve done the God thing. Believed in that one true God. Perhaps back when I still believed in one true love…

I’ve dabbled in the Celtic myths and loved  the Wiccan concepts. The romanticism of something mystical aligned with the earth itself. That one is hard to beat. 

But whilst I can’t seem to abandon all hope at all, I struggle now with any faith. The reality of science seems too strong to keep fighting. Or perhaps it’s simply that life is finally, unerringly, wearing me down. 

I don’t know what I want to believe… just that there’s… something. Something to make sense. Something worthwhile. A reason to wake up, exist and sleep. Something other than – you live, you die, that’s it. 

But why? Why do I need anything to make sense? Why do I need to have that ‘reason’? And that’s exactly it… a reason. Because I can’t actually see the point of it all without a reason. We’ve destroyed this Earth. We’re destroying what’s left. Why even bother fighting if there’s no reason? Let’s just let it all take its natural course. The earth will right itself once more. 

And so my head spins… my heart staggers… 

We found science and we lost faith… and hope… magic… that crazy belief that a miracle can happen, even when it’s completely impossible… we took away fairy tales and our belief in goblins and fairy rings… 

And we took away the reason… 

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I believe…

My children had chocolate for breakfast. Yes, take me to the square and flog me….

Actually, they had cereal and then chocolate. A chocolate eyeball in fact. They should be nicely sugared up for school today.

They no longer believe my stories. The man in the moon does not exist and the moon is not made of cheese…. I did not poke annoying children’s eyeballs out and they would look and taste like chocolate if I did… There are no fairies living in our garden and the fairy ring is just a bunch of mushrooms…

They are determined to prove that I am santa. I’ve explained that if this is the case, they’re in for a surprise Christmas morning because someone forgot to tell me and I have no money for presents… They’re not convinced. They are hatching plans and laying traps. Currently, they are planning to write to santa and put the letter in the mailbox without me seeing it. That way, if santa is real, they’ll get the right present. Hmmm… I have their big sister on the case. She’s offered to help them spell the words and be part of the trap 😉

The baby dragon laid a trap with her best friend last year. The friend lost a tooth. They secretly went to the mum’s wallet and wrote on all the notes… Lo and behold, the sneaky tooth fairy obviously stole the mother’s money from her wallet… The girls were not convinced. The mother has agreed that coins are more than enough for lost teeth in future…

Sigh… I am not ready for the fairy tales to end. For my pragmatic child to spoil the fun for her little brother either. He still wants to believe. I need a cunning plan. I managed it for the cynical big brother… So time for the thinking cap!