Last year, one of my closest friends told me – if people want to know, they’ll ask… Apparently, when people ask how you are or how was your weekend, they don’t actually want to know – not even your closest friends…
So, after the initial hurt dissipated, I gave his theory a whirl… I stopped telling people unless they actually asked, and asked twice in fact… People don’t want to know – he was right. People have absolutely no interest in what is actually happening in your life – well, except for those wanting gossip.
Sometimes, I forget this rule. Sometimes, I get so caught up in the friendship that I forget they don’t actually want to know… but then I remember and I find, once again, that he was right – people don’t actually want to know. If they do, they will ask. And they never, ever ask – at least, not twice… The first time is pure courtesy you see….
So, my phone has been playing up for quite a few weeks. My laptop has moments, too in fact. People keep asking when I will fix my phone…. I actually don’t think I will. I have a plan that goes til August unfortunately. I need my phone for my teenager to contact me – but that is it. It was necessary when driving on country roads, but that is so rare now.
I decided to examine the uses of my phone… Very little actual communication. I use it for news, books, music, Internet, Pinterest (my true addiction), work, social media, etc…. But, realistically, almost no actual conversation. When I looked at the texts and phone calls from the past few weeks, almost all of them were from friends of my teenager!
So why fix my phone? Why have my phone? Why pay ridiculous costs for a phone i don’t actually use or need?
Which then led me to my next thought… Why spend so much time on the computer? That one is easy – because I’m often working on my laptop. As a result, people expect me to be online and to answer them pretty much straight away. I love technology. I am always using it – for work as well as personal use. But, I am over it. I hate to admit this. But I truly am. I am tired of the neediness of it. I use my social media, partly to keep people happy with standard updates, and partly as a study… It’s trivia, banalities…. a photo of the christmas tree, kids at the beach, a whinge about work… nothing of substance…. but people feel they are up to date with your life. They feel they have had a connection. Met their obligations. Touched base. It fits with the busy-ness of life. The glorification of busy-ness in fact.
So, will I fix my phone? It’s unlikely. Will I still be attached to technology in a week when work ends? I seriously doubt it. Will I return to it next year when work resumes? Unlikely. So… I suppose therefore that my year will culminate where it has been heading. Perfectly timed. A new year will dawn and I will see where that takes me… but I highly doubt it will involve many of the things that have followed my path til now…. because, those things require energy I do not have, and those people will need to expend energy they do not have….
Perhaps I am simply tired. But I wonder at that, too. Is it simply tiredness and the inability to think clearly? Or is it that when I have slept, I have more patience and tolerance?
Salt in the air and sand in my hair. A few weeks on the beach and we will see where the next adventure leads.